Don't buy it!

Today, after a very long hike with my plant ecology class I was thinking how nice it would be to have an ice cream cone. My dear red truck hadn't yet cooled down, and I had forgotten to eat that day, so my musings quickly went from contemplating the delight of one ice cream cone to thinking how much fun it would be to have a periodic summer job advertising for a local ice cream shop. You know the way people look at you when they see you licking an ice cream cone on a hot day? A bit jealously, and as though they would like to know where you got it from. So, if I was hired to walk around town during prime business hours rapturously enjoying an ice cream cone, chances are the shop might get a little bit more business. But the idea died a swift and decided death once I realized that, apart from the fact that in order to stay healthy my other day job would have to be as a mountain bike tester, I just didn't have the conscience to do it. If anyone who looked as though they didn't regularly participate in vigorous exercise tried to enter the shop I would feel obligated to discourage them from ice cream and try interesting them in a carrot. And since that would swiftly get me either fired or squashed [or both], I'd better just stick to a [very occasional] indulgence for myself...accompanied by much strenuous physical activity, of course. :-)

I worked at Banana Republic two years ago, and my foray into the world of retail was as unsatisfactory as it was brief-- i.e. very. Soon after orientation it became clear that a large part of my job there was to get people to buy large amounts of merchandise...whether or not they wanted or needed it. When working in fitting rooms I was expected to praise the articles girls chose to wedge themselves into and suggest many coordinating pieces which they might also enjoy maxing out their credit cards on. Helpful hints such as, "If you don't want to try that in a larger size I can show you a great exercise program I've been trying", or "Don't feel like you need to buy anything you don't really love, there are great second-hand stores in the area that would be easier on your budget", or "You really don't want to date the kind of guys who are going to care for that shirt you're trying on" were generally frowned upon by management and it was impossible to spend all my time folding shirts. So, after a while I asked them to cut my hours back until they just stopped putting me on the schedule at all.

This experience caused me to realize that I wasn't cut out for almost any line of work that involved cajoling the general population into, or even allowing them to buy anything that could harm their bodies, bank accounts, or reputations- thus ruling out almost all restaurants, most clothing stores, and all of those confusing stores for teen girls that encourage them to parade around in postage stamps whose price tags are of comparable size to the actual piece of "clothing".

Ok, back to biochemistry. Let's just hope this science thing retains its popularity, because if it doesn't pan out I think I'm going to have a hard time finding a job...